They call me Shasta....Teacher Shasta.

Who was your second grade teacher? How about your best friend in fourth grade? Dig deep tell me who you took a nap next to in kindergarten. Facts that probably fly under the radar during any normal day, but are easily recalled when asked. It says a lot about your childhood that you’re stored that info long term style.
Your childhood is important. Whether or not yours turned out to be the "happiest times of your life" or "what you spend your whole life trying to overcome", depends entirely on the people you encounter on that winding, often bumpy, road to adulthood. Quotes stolen straight from one of my all-time favorite chick flicks, Hope Floats. Like Birdee, and a few others of you out there, I grew up in a teeny, tiny town that I couldn’t wait to escape. Successfully flying the coop grants me the opportunity to view those years through rose colored glasses and some of my fondest memories and most significant experiences came in the form of my teachers.
I am, without a doubt, the product of those educators placed in my path. I can name a handful of women who made me the way I am....good, bad, and ugly. Over half of those were teachers. You spend about a third of your childhood with your teachers. They’re your mother, father, protector, confidant, and entertainment for 8 hours a day, five days a week from 5-18. That’s a pretty significant chunk of time. They guide you through your socialization into the world at large. Mine let me know, in no uncertain terms, that my world wasn’t defined by Bowie County lines. That’s a pretty respectable feat considering I’m writing these words in the middle of a small town in South Korea.
I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but somewhere along the way someone let me know that education would open up doors for me that nothing else would. I’d put money on that person being a teacher. My family isn’t wealthy. Far from it. Both of my parents worked at least one job the entire time I was growing up. They work very hard for the things they have and what they gave me and my siblings. Despite my obvious lack of a silver spoon, my education has allowed me to almost circumnavigate the globe.
My trip down memory lane is simply to illustrate that your childhood and your teachers make a big league impact on who and what you become....And I get to do that. Every. Single. Day. I have the opportunity to continue to do so for the rest of my life. My kids are learning English and I hope somewhere in those lessons I’m hoping they figure out that I care about them. I’m spending a year away from everything I love to fall in love with 200 new things. When they grow up and think back on English in Elementary school, hopefully, they’re going to think of me. I’m earning a place in the childhood of 200 lives. How cool is that?

P.S. Even if the very thought of teaching as a profession makes you want to run for the hills, you’ll probably appreciate this.

Never a dull moment.

Category: Life

Took yesterday off from school so I could head into Seoul with Meagon to get a look at the Van Gogh exhibition at the Museum of Art. Apparently, so did everyone else in this country because it was PACKED. Don't these people have jobs? Had to wait in a long curvy line and was seriously unimpressed by the selection of paintings and sketches that they had on display. I guess I just got way too excited about it so I was disappointed when I got there. I've been to the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam. I just wanted to get a peek at some of his work that lives other places. Museums are one of the great joys in my life. I love em. I can spend hours wandering around looking at stuff. Not so yesterday. It was hot and crowded and not worth the trip. But fear not, the whole day was not a bust.
Had dinner at Outback. Western food always puts a silver lining on any dark cloud of a day. The subway on the way home was crowded so I got to sit down and Meagon had to stand. As soon as the seat next to me opened a wiry little Korean woman all but formed tackled Meagon to make sure she got the seat. She had to see the look I was giving her but she didn't care. I'm growing used to being stared at. I still don't like it, but I'm getting used to it. Well, this woman is so close she's touching me and doesn't even try to be subtle about giving me the once over. She mumbles something in Korean with the word "America" thrown in there so I just assume she's asking if I'm from America. I say Yes, because I am. Apparently, that wasn't what she was asking because she asked me the same question about 10 more times even though my answer was the same and I even told her I didn't know (in Korean).
I just started ignoring her until she started making this horrible slurping gurgling sound right in my ear. I don't know what was going on in her mouth. Sounded like she was trying to keep her false teeth or something. There's only so much I can take and since Meagon had scored herself a seat a little ways away from me I started digging in my bag for my iPod. I don't even get it in my ear before she starts up with her American crap again and takes my iPod out of my hand. By now I've figured if you can't beat em, join em so I just gave her the earphones and let her soak up a little Ben Harper. At least it would shut her up and get her off my back. I guess she liked ol' Ben because she wasn't making any moves to give my iPod back.
I wanted some photographic evidence of the crazy old Korean ajuma with funky hair and painted on make up sitting thisclose to me listening to my iPod. Dug around in my bag for my camera and before I could get the lens cap off, the heifer took it too. She looked at about 300 of my pictures all the while muttering about America. I guess she'd decided we were friends because here she sat all squished up next to me, listening to my tunes, and looking through my camera. I've been wishing that Koreans were a little friendlier. Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it times 10 on a subway.
Ended up back in Gimpo at a bar called the Hudson and had drinks with one American, two South Africans, and two Koreans. Everyone spoke at least two languages and I'm sure anyone listening got more than they bargained for once we all got drunk. There was Korean, English, Spanish, and Afrikaans flying around. Never a dull moment I tell ya. Can't beat Van Gogh, Outback, being accosted on the subway, and having an international cocktail hour.

RIP Kimchi

Category: Pets and Animals

I decided I needed a pet. I live alone for the first time in my life and I was getting a little lonely. I don't have the patience or the space for a puppy. I get too attached and I'm leaving in October. Decided on a goldfish. Two of em actually. Rice and Kimchi. Did it big and bought them a tank with fun rocks and a little house because a little bowl just seems kinda mean. Had them for a grand total of 5 days before Kimchi went belly up on me. On Valentine's Day no less. Damn near cried. Had him a little fishy funeral and flushed him down the john. So sad. Rice is still kicking. I bought him a water filter so I wouldn't have to clean his tank every other day. I even got some frozen peas because a friend of mine told me that if a fish starts to look sick, you should drop a few peas in thier water. Something about the vitamins and such. I can't have both of my fish head into the light inside of two weeks with me. I'm thinking of replacing Kimchi so Rice won't be lonely. Now you know:)

Ahh...Texas

Ahhh...Texas. Bootlegged from someone else’s page:)
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: Life

I am Texas. I am the children who run through fields of bluebonnets. I am the smell of spring and the warmth of summer. I am the snow in the panhandle and the heat waves of the coast. I am the beaches and the hill country.

I am a "howdy" and a "hey ya'll." I'm a warm smile, a firm handshake, and a big hug even for strangers. I am Texas. I am an honest answer while looking you in the eye. No beating around the bush, I'll tell it like it is.

I'm the Guadalupe, the Astrodome, and Greune Hall. I'm a sweet tea with lunch and a cold beer with dinner. I'm Shinerbock and Blue Bell.

Texas women are strong but beautiful. Many have said, "If you want to find angels, go to Texas because the women there are the prettiest women you will ever see." The women are big floppy hats and baseball hats. I am a pair of new high heels or old pair of boots. I am the ritz of Dallas and the comfort of Ft. Worth. I am home.

A Texan is not only a breed but also a character, not simply where we are from. The boys are gentlemen whether they are city boys or small town kids. The women are ladies whether they were raised in an loft or on a farm.

People never ask where I am from because they can tell. The smile, the warmth, and the, "Nice to meet ya'll," gives us away. I am Texas. The most recognizable state in the US. Ask a foreigner to point out Texas on a map, they can do it.

I am Texas and have always known I was different. You can see it when you look at our past and our future. You can see it when you look at us. An indescribable pride takes over when we talk about our home, the Lone Star State.

I am Texas. I am the 30 year old couple who never leaves because we know we have all we need in our dear state. My children know not only the Pledge of Allegiance but also the Pledge to the Texas flag. They might not understand what the Lone Star represents but they wave the flag proudly at city parades and county fairs.

I am the 70 year old man whose face is leather and his hands are rough. The ranch work was hard. But he'd kill the person who tried to take his blood, sweat, and tears away from him. He hopes that no one sees the tears well up in his eye when some one sings, "The Yellow Rose of Texas," or "The Eyes of Texas are Upon You." We are patriots. Not only of the U.S.A but also of our state.

We are the Astros, the Rangers, the Cowboys, the Texans, the Spurs, Rockets, and Mavs. Regardless of the city, they are all in the end, a Texas team and despite rivalries of burnt orange or maroon, we would rather a Texas team win than an outsider. I am a hatred for the Yankees, Cardinals, and the Sooners.

I am the two step, the half step, and twirling pretty girls around the dance floor. I am Willie, Waylon, Jerry Jeff, Robert Earl, and Pat.

We are family. We are Texas. Texas is much more than a place of birth. It is a frame of mind. It is something that, once you have experienced it, will live inside of you forever and will make you the person you are.

No words can describe what this feels like, but you know because you have experienced it. And if you haven't, you wish that you could.

I am a Texas smile from a pretty girl wearing pearls and cute sandals. I am a wink from a man wearing pearl snaps. I can pull off a business suit like a New Yorker but only Texans can wear Levis, Wranglers and cowboy hats.

It is knowing that year after year, no matter how things change in our hectic lives, we can always sit on the front porch, rocking, and wave as the neighbors walk by.

I am Texas. It is the place we came from. My home. Over time it will probably look a little different and there will be new people to met. But that's ok. You'll welcome them just like you welcomed the others.

Things will change. But you will still love it as much as you always have, because Texas is as much apart of your arms and your legs and the Lone Star pride that runs through your veins.

And, finally, it is the feeling you have right now because you know what you've read is true. The feelings of pride, love, and strength are growinginside of you…but then again they never really go away, do they?

Saturday, February 09, 2008. 10 Things I wish I would’ve know before I came to Korea.

Dave Letterman style...
10. No matter how hard you try...you're never gonna pronounce Korean words correctly.
9. Kimchi is a food group. Learn to love it biaaatch.
8. People are gonna stare...A lot. I like to think its because I look like a rock star. But that doesn't stop me from making faces at the little kids until I get caught by their parents.
7. Contrary to popular belief, Korean children can be just as big of assholes as Western kids. They're just too dang cute to stay mad at though.
6. If you're bigger than a size 4, you're considered "Big Size" and retailers are bumfuzzled as to how to produce clothing that covers an ass as big as yours. I've seen fat Asians and it took all I had not to ask them where they shop.
5. Corn is a pizza topping...and it ain't half bad.
4. Soju is a derivative of rocket fuel and will burn your esophagus accordingly....but you'll end up loving it. Trust me.
3. Its chic to have a foreign friend so you'll be approached by random strangers asking if you can be theirs.
2. The Wonder Girls rival the fame of the Beatles. You haven't lived until you've seen the video for "Tell Me" at least enough times to do some of the choreoagraphy. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, peep it on Youtube and feel my pain.
And the number one thing that I wish I would've know before I came to Korea is....
1. Dale Earnardt is not dead. In fact, he is alive and well in Korea driving a bus. Apparently the Hangul for a slanted number 3 is Best Gimpo. I swear those mofos are trying to kill me. It's a conspiracy to see how much I can take before I just puke in an aisle. If you've ever gotten car sick in your life, stay off those busses.

Sunday, February 03, 2008. Ganwha Island.

I spent this afternoon with a Buddhist monk. Not exactly how the day was planned, mind you, but it turned out to be perfect. One of the Korean teachers from Gimpo and another native speaker from Canada, Danielle, and I had a day planned on a really cool island near my house. Part of the tour took us to Deokjinjin, a military stronghold built in the 7th century of the Hyojong Dynasty. It's fortified with stone around the South and the West. The monk explained that this is because humans enter through these gates and only the souls of people enter through the other two. There are three temples on the land and because its the Chinese New Year there are lanterns strung between all of them. It was spectacular. One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and it only became more so with the monks earnest interpretation of all of the architecture and customs in the most adorable broken English. Danielle and I got to write out wish on a piece of paper to be attached to one of the lanterns. If you married, you are supposed to wish for a long and happy life with your spouse. If not, then you're supposed to wish to find that person. So I wished to take complete advantage of the rest of my time in Korea (eight months and some change)....and to find my husband. :) I had to..It's a rule.
The monk invited us to have lunch with him and the other monks, but because we took too long on the tour, lunch had passed. We got free lunch anyway, just no monks. As a concellation, we got to go to the retreat in the mountains where the monks live and have tea with the chief priest. That was humbling. He was really nice. Looked just like you'd think a monk would look. Funky outfit and ridiculously happy. He even spoke some English, which made things a little easier. Pretty sure I've never been served tea by anyone that important.
Our monk also took us to the temple at the retreat and showed us how to do bow and show respect to Buddha. We got to light some incence and roll out mat out and bow a few times. I love Jesus but those Buddhists really know their stuff. We got to have a mini crash course on meditation. He kept asking us "What is human?"and "Who am I?" He showed us around the grounds and invited us all back for an official temple stay. Apparently, you can come and live as a monk for a weekend. I fully intend on taking advantage of that invitation before I come home. You sleep on the floor and get up at like 4 to chant and learn calligraphy and stuff. And NO talking. A weekend in silence for reflection and self discovery. Anyone that knows me, knows I like to talk most of the time. It's going to be a bit of a challenge to keep my mouth shut for two straight days, but I think I can do it.
Everything was soooo beautiful and I left my camera at school. I was taking pictures of Winter Camp and just left it in my desk. The island just happens to be about 15 minutes from my house so be expecting pictures from my next trip. Sometime in the Spring there's and azalea festival that turns the mountains purple with flowers. Come hell or high water, I'm getting pictures of that.

Thursday, January 03, 2008. Changes

When I very first got to Korea, I counted the time that had passed in days. My first couple of them were so rough that I numbered all of the days in my planner to tell me exactly how many I had until I got to come home. A whole year of em. I started at 365 on October 31 and counted backwards.
After deciding I wasn't going to swim back to America with my luggage floating behind me, I started counting in weeks. Every Tuesday I had an anniversary. A little victory because I had survived seven more days.
The inspiration for this blog came from the sudden realization that somewhere along the way, I stopped counting. I was sitting at my desk and actually had to get a calendar out and count because I had forgotten how long I had been here. FYI, its been 2 months and 4 days but sometime in the past couple of weeks, I didn't need to know that. I quit keeping a running tab on when they were going to let me out of here. I had lost my perspective for a while. The holidays without your friends and family will do that to you. I had forgotten that this didn't happen TO me. I sought this job out and came here on purpose.
All the missing people and culture shock had made me forget that this was my decision. I was moping around like someone sent me here out of spite. I don't believe in accidents so I know God had a reason for me to be here but I had quit trying to find it. Last week I almost came home. I even looked online to see when the next flight out was. I got caught up in all that I was missing. Rhonda got engaged. Jimmy asked Kim to marry him. Scarlett got her first tooth and said her first word. My grandmother got put in the hospital again. My uncle almost had a heart attack. All I was focusing on were the things that were going on back home. I was so miserable because I wasn't living my life HERE. My heart was still in America and my mind wasn't far from it.
It was then that God gave me my perspective back. Well, He hit me in the face with it. I'm not that important. I know some of you reading this will beg to differ, but just think about it. Sure, you miss me, but your life is going on without me there to witness it and its OK. I'm 10,000 miles from everything familiar to me and I'm fine. I'm making a life for myself...by myself. I would have given anything to be there to hear the story of Rhonda's engagement firsthand. I wanted to be there so bad I boo boo cried on her voice mail trying to tell her congratulations. But I lived. And she lived. I'm coming to terms with this whole being "away" thing. I miss the people I love so much it hurts sometimes. I don't expect that to ever stop, but it has become a manageable ache. When I miss you so much I think I should just pack it in and come home, I read this. Believe it is taped up on the wall right next to my desk.

i carry your heart with me
E.E. Cummings

I carry your heart with me(I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it(anywhere I go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
I fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
I want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart)

Thursday, December 06, 2007. I may freeze to death before Christmas.

I think the countdown to my trek back to America is like 331 days. In my first few days here when I thought I was going to swim back home because I missed it so bad, I went through my planner and numbered the days in my year here so that I would know exactly how many days I have until I can go home. Things are not so serious now, but at least I still know where I stand in the scheme of my year in Korea.
I was supposed to have a busy day today. Well, as busy as my day ever gets. I was to teach 6 classes. Six has dwindled to two because the kids are having end of the year writing exams. No one told me about it so I show up at 9 all ready to go. I have to be here regardless, so I have spent the last 2 hours doing nothing even resembling school related. I have been busy though. I've answered e-mails, looked at prospective vacation locales, and found people I thought were dead on Facebook and Myspace.
I'm getting really used to the pace of things here. Sllloooww. And I like it. I'm probably gonna be busy for the bulk of the rest of my life so now I'm just taking it easy. Some people have to go on vacation to get away from it all. I live there. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do and you have to work if you want to get a hold of me. I teach my kids and hang out. The End. I'll go into Seoul or Gimpo on the weekend to do some shopping or dinner if I feel like it. Its not gonna take much to get spoiled rotten. My school kisses my ass. They know I'm here alone and don't speak Korean so all I have to do is ask for something and they make it happen. I didn't have a computer in my office. My principal noticed I was on one in the lounge and a week later, I've got a new laptop. The chair in my apartment is crap so I'm going shopping next week for a couch and the school's buying.
I guess I traded the comforts of America for some serious down time. My life has been so crazy for the past couple of years that this is really doing me some good. The biggest decision I ever have to make is what I'm gonna wear that day. This is a pretty good gig. If you've got an extra year, a college degree, and can handle being away, I highly recommend. The honeymoon stage of my Culture Shock is ending. I don't hate Korea and all things Korean. I still stand by my notion that America is wayyy cooler, but that's not really opinion. More like statement of fact:) I still miss you all something terrible and I'm coming to terms with the fact that its probably not going to get any easier to be away from you. That makes my heart smile though. I'm coming to like missing people. Makes you realize how lucky you are to have people to love and makes seeing them again that much sweeter!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007. Happy Turkey Day!!

The newness is wearing off and I'm realizing that this is my life now. That thought doesn't scare me but it does make me kind of sad for what I left behind. I read somewhere that man travels the world only to return home to find what he was looking for. I believe that. I left behind some pretty great people that I made this mistake of taking for granted. Its one thing to live a few hours from someone and not see them because both of you are busy. To live in the same town as someone but not see them as much as you'd like. It is quite another entirely to know that you can't go home. I know I'll always be able to go home if I want to. I signed up for this. It was not something that happened to me and I want to be here, but home is still 10,000 miles away. I flew over Siberia to get here. Seriously, Siberia.
I've just never been this far away from everyone and everything that's familiar to me. I've never had to exist outside of the context of my family and friends. I'm not quite sure who I am withouth you. Another part of growing up that stings a little bit. I know this experience is going to change me and it has already started to happen. They are good changes. I figure, if I can pack my bags and survive a year in a foreign country, there are few things I couldn't handle. I feel brave for probably the first time in my life. I've kind of always done what was expected. I graduated high school, went to college. This is the first thing I've ever done just for me. I'm lucky enough to be able to make a really long list of people who would not be sad at all if I packed it all in tomorrow and came back home. But I can't. This is something I need to do. I need to know what I'm really made of. I need to be able to stand on my own to feet and look the world in the eye without faltering. Its going to be hard. Hell, it already is, but I know that God would never drop me in Korea and forget about me. I know that He is here with me every step of the way. There is no greater comfort than that.
You have all been amazing at letting me know that I may be gone but I'm definitely not forgotten. You'll never know what that has meant to me. So hug the ones that you love and eat some turkey for me because I'd almost bet my life and yours, I'm having rice and kimchi.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007. One down...51 more to go...The end of my first week.

Hey all! My first week is officially over. I survived relatively unscathed. I am in love with Korea now. That's not to say I haven't had my share of second thoughts since I've been here. I have never had to know myself outside the context of my friends and family. Its a real experience seeing who I am on my own. I live alone. I eat alone. I sleep alone. That's a whole lot of alone and I fancy myself quite the social person so this is taking a little getting used to. I'm going on a sort of retreat this weekend with all the other teachers from my province. We're headed to JeJu Island which is off the Southernmost tip of Korea and is supposed to look like Hawaii. Its a free trip and English will be spoken...I am sooo there. One of the teachers here is from Texas too and she found me on Facebook. We're going to be looking for each other this weekend on Jeju so wish me luck. All of the teachers in the city closest to me live in the same apartment complex and travel together and hang out and stuff. I'm hoping to find Meagon and meet these people to see where the fun for people my age is hiding. I am trying my damnedest to learn Korean. We're up to...

Please

Thank You

How are you?

I am fine.

Hello.

You're Welcome.

You're pretty.

....Not bad for a few days of study. I ride to school with the security guard from the school next to my apartment and yesterday he presented me with a book he bought me to help learn Korean. He was so impressed with himself and the gift he got for me. Could've been the cutest thing I have ever seen. I officially start teaching next week. This week I've just been hanging out and observing. I've co-taught with a few of the teachers to help with pronunciation and syntax. I am officially the coolest kid on the block because I speak English. Everyone here LOVES America and all things to do with it. Everyday when I come to school that look at my clothes and make-up. When I listed to music the all come and ask what it is and how they can get it. They've all been soooo nice. More on my Korean adventure later!