Dave Letterman style...
10. No matter how hard you try...you're never gonna pronounce Korean words correctly.
9. Kimchi is a food group. Learn to love it biaaatch.
8. People are gonna stare...A lot. I like to think its because I look like a rock star. But that doesn't stop me from making faces at the little kids until I get caught by their parents.
7. Contrary to popular belief, Korean children can be just as big of assholes as Western kids. They're just too dang cute to stay mad at though.
6. If you're bigger than a size 4, you're considered "Big Size" and retailers are bumfuzzled as to how to produce clothing that covers an ass as big as yours. I've seen fat Asians and it took all I had not to ask them where they shop.
5. Corn is a pizza topping...and it ain't half bad.
4. Soju is a derivative of rocket fuel and will burn your esophagus accordingly....but you'll end up loving it. Trust me.
3. Its chic to have a foreign friend so you'll be approached by random strangers asking if you can be theirs.
2. The Wonder Girls rival the fame of the Beatles. You haven't lived until you've seen the video for "Tell Me" at least enough times to do some of the choreoagraphy. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, peep it on Youtube and feel my pain.
And the number one thing that I wish I would've know before I came to Korea is....
1. Dale Earnardt is not dead. In fact, he is alive and well in Korea driving a bus. Apparently the Hangul for a slanted number 3 is Best Gimpo. I swear those mofos are trying to kill me. It's a conspiracy to see how much I can take before I just puke in an aisle. If you've ever gotten car sick in your life, stay off those busses.
No comments:
Post a Comment